Heisler’s Wednesday Power Rankings

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Our founder, Chris Sheridan, hereafter to be known as OFCS, had the Heat at No. 1 in his rankings before they lost to the Warriors, which shows what he knows.

Just kidding.

We may have a lot of years covering the NBA between us, but if we were clairvoyant, we’d be selling our rankings to, uh, investors at $1,000 a pop.

With the teams at the 9-10-11-game mark, the great ones have yet to pull away from the pack, although some bad teams have, just at the other end.

Take the young, supposedly talented, demonstrably clueless Wizards.

John Wall, the main Wizard, is actually a hard-working guy but apparently packed his shooting hand in dry ice over the summer.

At Kentucky, Wall busted by people as if they were traffic cones, looking like the next in the line of uber-point guards… or the best of them, with UK’s John Calipari noting he was “farther along at this point than Derrick Rose and Tyreke Evans,” both of whom he had coached.

Wall still busts by people, accounting for the fact his numbers–16.4 points, 8.3 assists–are decent.
Now, if he could only make a shot longer than two feet….

According to HoopData.com, he’s shooting 20.2% if he’s not at the rim.

The NBA average is 39%… so all he has to do is double his to be average.

Happily for the Wizards, we’ve only just begun. Unhappily for Flip Saunders, as Raider Coach Tom Flores once noted, “It’s early but it’s getting late.”

RANK TEAM THE RUNDOWN LAST
1 BULLS
(9-2)
LAST WEEK: 4-1  
Maybe just having him around helps everyone. Rip has only played in five games but Brewer’s shooting 51%, Korver’s 22-41 on threes.
t-1
2 HEAT
(8-2)
LAST WEEK: 3-1 
I don’t think we’re home anymore, Toto: Three-game West Coast trip starts with loss to Warriors, weakest team on it.
t-1
3 THUNDER
(9-2)
LAST WEEK: 4-0 
OK, but how many of last season’s Elite 8 have they beaten? Two, and one was Dallas. The other was San Antonio without Manu.
3
4 SIXERS
(7-2)
LAST WEEK: 5-0 
Started 3-2 on their only West Coast trip of season, now looking like they could crack top four in East.
13
5 BLAZERS
(7-2)
LAST WEEK: 3-1 
Not only doing it without Roy and Oden, but with new point guard Ray Felton shooting 35%.
6
6 LAKERS
(7-4)
LAST WEEK: 3-1 
Apparently, he has some ball left in him at 33: Kobe puts 48 on Suns.
10
7 MAGIC
(6-3)
LAST WEEK: 2-1 
Better weather, team, taxes … why doesn’t D-Will go there? Oh yeah, no cap space, no one Nets want and Magic in their conference.
5
8 SPURS
(6-4)
LAST WEEK: 3-2 
Actually pretty good with Manu out, Tim at 11-6 in 24 minutes, Tony shooting 39.8% in first nine.
4
9 HAWKS
(7-3)
LAST WEEK: 3-1 
Too bad they can’t get interested all the time: 2-2 vs. Bulls and Heat, blew late leads in both losses.
9
10 NUGGETS
(6-4)
LAST WEEK: 2-2 
Gallo, who’s been slow starter in young career, just put up games of 20-21-8-23.
7
11 PACERS
(6-3)
LAST WEEK: 2-2 
Times, they’re a-changin’: No. 17 on defense last season, Frank Vogel has them at No. 5 now.
8
12 CELTICS
(5-4)
LAST WEEK: 2-1 
Times, they’re a-changin’ here, too: Couldn’t get closer than seven points in last 10 minutes of loss to Indy on their own floor.
11
13 JAZZ
(6-3)
LAST WEEK:  3-0 
OK, how many of you thought they’d be over .500 for one day this season, much less three games over?
21
14 MAVERICKS
(5-5)
LAST WEEK: 3-1
Not that they’re old, but Kidd’s back injury means it’ll be a little while longer before he hits season’s first two-point shot – assuming he makes any.
20
15 CLIPPERS
(4-3)
LAST WEEK: 2-1 
Jordan gets 3.0 blocks (No. 2 in NBA) but only 3.7 more rebounds (6.7, No. 36) as opponents out-board them by 7.5 a game.
12
16 KNICKS
(5-4)
LAST WEEK: 3-1
As if from heaven (Georgia, actually), rookie Iman Shumpert takes over for – actually they didn’t have point guard – with team at 2-4.
19
17 SUNS
(5-4)
LAST WEEK: 4-1
Even if they—OK, even if I sneered at them, there is some there there: Rook Markieff Morris averages 12-7 in 24 minutes over four.
23
18 CAVALIERS
(4-5)
LAST WEEK: 1-3 
H-e-r-e’s Kyrie! Since opening night dud, he’s averaging 16, shooting 47%, 46% on threes.
16
19 RAPTORS
(4-6)
LAST WEEK: 2-3 
Casey has their defense up to No. 10, even if offense is down to No. 26.
26
20 WOLVES
(3-7)
LAST WEEK: 1-4 
Still look one brick shy of a load, assuming the brick is 6-11 or so and can play center better than Still Darko After All These Years.
14
21 GRIZZLIES
(3-6)
LAST WEEK: 1-3 
On bright side for Rudy Gay, he gets his shots back with Zach Attack out eight weeks. Down side is he goes 24-63 in first three (all losses).
15
22 ROCKETS
(3-6)
LAST WEEK: 1-4
Game’s least known good player, Kyle Lowry, misses two games. They lose both. He returns. They win, if only over Bobcats.
17
23 HORNETS
(3-6)
LAST WEEK: 1-3 
Can last Hornet to leave turn off lights? Gordon misses all but two, bristles at talk of protecting sore knee in (restricted) free agent year.
24
24 BUCKS
(3-6)
LAST WEEK: 1-3
Next, spiritual issues? After missing 76 games last season with injuries, Bogut goes home to Australia for unexplained personal reasons.
18
25 WARRIORS
(3-6)
LAST WEEK: 1-4 
Is that offer to ‘rent’ Howard a cagey bet he may not get to his top choices of Nets or Lakers? Jerry West-type move and he’s now Warrior braintrust.
22
26 KINGS
(3-7)
LAST WEEK: 1-3 
Cast of Lord of the Flies 1, Paul Westphal 0. Kings can’t trade DeMarcus as he asked, but they got him a new warden, er, coach in Keith Smart.
25
27 PISTONS
(2-8)
LAST WEEK: 0-5 
Brandon Knight, expected to move in as starter, gets early call with Stuckey out. Now, is Rodney ever heard from there again?
27
28 BOBCATS
(2-8)
LAST WEEK: 1-3
Good news: Henderson happens, Mullens’ pulse located. Bad news: Everything else.
29
29 NETS
(2-8)
LAST WEEK: 1-3
D-Will doesn’t look like his heart’s in it. For sure, his jumper isn’t, shooting 35% since last season’s arrival.
30
30 WIZARDS
(1-8)
LAST WEEK: 1-3 
Blatche says Flip is right, noting the guys don’t even read scouting reports…. I’ve got it, add music and dancers to video, send it to their Iphones!
28
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Comments

  1. the mecca says:

    D-Will has surely checked out. Can’t say I blame the guy. I guess having more players overseas playing during the lockout than any other squad did absolutely nothing to improve their lot from last yr.

    I know their sked has been tough, but it seems the Rockets perpetually underperform and disappoint. Time for them to get it together.

    Utah has a strange roster but is loaded with young talent. Good for them.

    Time for the Knickerbockers to show something against some good teams coming up. Disappointing start so far.

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