Hubbard: DeMarcus Cousins vs. Tim Duncan evokes Bentson v. Quayle

Watching DeMarcus Cousins yap at Tim Duncan in a game last week must have made Spurs broadcaster Sean Elliott feel like Lloyd Bentson when Dan Quayle compared himself to John F. Kennedy in 1988.

That was during the vice-presidential debate, and Quayle was making the point that despite being 41 years old, he’d had more experience as a legislator than Kennedy had before being elected president in 1960. It was a defining moment of that presidential election 24 years ago.

Cousins had the same youthful sort of ignorance, apparently believing one of the greatest players in NBA history would be unnerved by a 22-year-old with talent, but not much of a track record.

Cousins had mouthed off at Duncan during a Kings-Spurs game, and Duncan responded on the next play by forcefully swatting away a shot by Cousins.

If Elliott could have been Duncan’s speech writer – or trash responder – he would have suggested paraphrasing Bentson’s classic, memorable response to Quayle:

“Sir, I have been subjected to verbal lashings from some of the finest, most creative smack artists in NBA history, including gentlemen headed for the Hall of Fame.”

Duncan would then pause for effect, and conclude:

“And you, sir, have absolutely no shot of ever being in the Hall of Fame.”

Although the words differed when Elliott criticized Cousins on the air, Elliott’s response was along the same line, saying that Cousins was an idiot for thinking that he could do what no one has done during Duncan’s 16 superlative years in the league.

Cousins then demonstrated that besides lacking common sense on the court, he was equally ill-equipped off the court. Informed of Elliott’s comments, he went back to courtside, confronted Elliott and responded in a way deemed threatening enough by the league office that Cousins was suspended for two games.

The humorous part of the incident was Cousins’ characterization of Elliott’s comments.

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