Yeah, and I want to sleep with supermodels. That’s likely not happening, either.
The Los Angeles Lakers are going to use their amnesty provision on World Peace and do something they really don’t do very often – make a conscious decision to save money. By letting go of the hero of their last NBA championship – who also happens to be a certified wingnut – the Lakers will be saving over $14 million in luxury tax payments.
But this isn’t about the Lakers. Hasn’t enough been written about them this month? Are they even relevant anymore?
This is about the player who has been tilting at windmills since entering the league 14 years ago.
Whether it has been uniform numbers in the 90s, threatening to quit and become a rapper, applying for a job at Circuit City to get the employee discount, showing up for practice in a bathrobe, smashing cameras, starting a full-scale riot by running into the stands and beating up a fan, doing time for domestic violence, doling out concussions on national TV, or changing his name, MWP has always regarded the rules as nothing more than annoying suggestions.
He probably learned that growing up in New York, where folks treat “Don’t Walk” signs much the same way. Now he wants to return to his hometown, simply because, hey, that would be such a World Peace thing to do.
Go back home and play for the Knicks. In the Garden. Buy season tickets for all my boys from the Queensbridge Projects. The New York Post will have to start a new page just for me.
I'm changing my name to "Whole Foods Guacomole Dip"
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) July 10, 2013
Give Peace a chance!
If you’re a Knicks fan, it doesn’t matter if the initial thought of World Peace in the blue and orange made you absolutely giddy or throw up into the back of your mouth. It’s probably not happening, and here’s why.
In the previous CBA, there were hardly any rules for players released via amnesty. Guys like Alonzo Mourning and Michael Finley were released, became unrestricted free agents and signed with championship-caliber teams, collecting multiple paychecks and a ring.
Hey, the NBA didn’t get the draft lottery or the BRI split exactly right on the first try, either. But David Stern has always been pretty good at getting rid of the bugs in his money machine.
While at St. John’s in the 1990s, World Peace’s major was not international relations, believe it or not. Back then, he was known as Ron Artest and had not yet decided to save the planet with ridiculous name changes, rambling incoherence and social media.
His major was mathematics, so he should understand this.
After being released via amnesty by the Lakers, MWP will still get the $7,727,280 he is guaranteed to receive for the 2013-14 season. But he is not free to sign with the Knicks – or any team, for that matter.
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