The Oscars are over, and since I once again didn’t watch them or see any of the nominated movies, let’s get this Oscar-themed edition of the Most Improved Player Rankings under way! Because nothing says “entertaining column” like a bunch of misinformed pop culture references! As always, these awards are for the players in the “Rankings Academy” only, meaning they have to be in consideration for our table. The envelopes, please … Best Supporting Actor: Klay Thompson, Golden State Warriors. I mean, come on.
My Great Grandma used to have a small plaque that she hung on the wall in her kitchen that, like many things about her, I’ve never forgotten. “Ve get too soon oldt, undt too late schmart,” it read, though I’m not sure why it was in half-English, half-German. She’s not even German. I think she hung it there to explain things like this NBA season. Gram always did love basketball. OK, maybe not. But she did say her spirit animal was a bluebird, and
Each week here in our Most Improved Player Rankings column, we take a look at the guys around the league who have been balling unexpectedly well. It’s what we do. But when you take a step back from the box scores and look at the league from a macro view (another thing we do here at Sheridan Hoops–we’re deep), you realize there’s something more improved than Hassan Whiteside, Jimmy Butler, or even LeBron’s hairline in that Sprite commercial. The NBA itself. The league is having somewhat
Welcome back to another edition of “As the Most Improved Player Rankings Turn.” In this episode, old favorite Jimmy Butler has returned to the top after a stern challenge from Warriors guard Klay Thompson, who was coming in all hot after a 37-point quarter made him look as irresistible as 1999 Kelly Ripa. But there’s a new harlot in town ready to grab everyone’s attention. Miami’s Hassan Whiteside. Ohhhhh yeahhhhhh.
So apparently Klay Thompson is a SheridanHoops reader. How else do you explain his NBA record-setting 37-point quarter, one in which he dropped nine threes, hit all 13 of his shots and generally looked like a cross between Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, Steph Curry and a member of the Monstars? It’s pretty obvious. Klay was upset about being ranked fifth in last week’s edition of the Most Improved Player Rankings, and it showed. “Yeah, I was cheesed off,” Thompson didn’t say after torching the Kings for
Jimmy Butler is ruining the Most Improved Player Rankings. There, I said it. I’m sorry, everyone, but it’s true. Butler is running away with the award, and it’s only January. He’s running away with it like Secretariat at the Alameda County Derby. He’s running away with it like John Dillinger in a 1930s bank. It’s really not fair. Like, how am I supposed to make this column interesting when this guy is going out there and putting up 20.6 points, 6 rebounds and 3 assists per game,
Shlomo Sprung: Hello everyone, and welcome to another column about the greatness of Jimmy Butler here on this fine basketball website, Sheridanhoops.com. (You know this is the place that broke LeBron to Cleveland, right?) Before we begin, I just wanted to remind readers that Butler’s true shooting percentage has gone up a full 2— Suzyn Waldman: Ohhhh mahhhyyy gawdd!! Kelzz Dayton is up in Chris Sheridan’s luxury bawx!!! He’s coming back for another season of Most Improved Player Rankings!!! OHH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!!!!
This is a tough column to write. It’s the last edition of the Most Improved Player Rankings, and like John Boehner at an eighth grade science fair, I’m about to lose it. I uhh…I just want to tell you all how much you mean to me. (Voice cracks) It’s been another incredible year in this column space. We’ve talked about Ike Manfresca, the Oscars, Seinfeld, the genetic connection between twins, existentialism, John Lennon, Mars Blackmon, and un-seeing the Eastern Conference standings. We even compared every candidate to a character in