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Quick and pretty amazing tidbit: this is our fourth version of these free agency rankings, and since we started them, the Miami Heat have not lost.
Yes, the Heat are hot and the copious amount of attention they are receiving is something Charlie Sheen could only dream of replicating. So in honor of the Heat, let’s go streaking.
In yesterday’s blog, there was a news item about Mike D’Antoni’s frustration with the Lakers boiling over.
Today, Chris Bernucca suggests that maybe the problem with the Lakers isn’t so much the Lakers as it is Mike D’Antoni. Speaking of the Lakers, where does Kobe Bryant rank on Chris Sheridan’s new MVP rankings? One answer: not first.
Now for your latest NBA news:
Is Jason Kidd going to retire soon? Zach Braziller of the New York Post speculates that he might: “Knicks fans should cherish Jason Kidd’s role on the team. They may not see him when this season ends. Kidd, who turned 40 yesterday, said Friday night he may not play out his entire three-year contract with the team. “We’re going to revisit [it],” he said. “We [would] love to make it to 42, but we have to be realistic. If the body and mind can’t compete at the same time, then I got to move to the side and watch these younger guys play. But I feel great.” “
It’s time for Week 3 of the Greatest Fake Tournament in the history of sports columns. Let’s get right to the games, with Gus Johnson and Bill Raftery on the call.
GUS JOHNSON: Welcome back to Most Improved Player Madness. I’m Gus Johnson alongside Bill Raftery, and Bill, It’s been a thrilling tournament so far, and it has left our readers completely speechless. They can’t even click on the link because of all of the spontaneous excitement. I’m so happy I gave up announcing the NCAA Tournament for this.
BILL RAFTERY: Gus Johnson, this tournament matches up the most improved players in the NBA MANDAMAN!!!
GUS: Let’s get right to the bracket as we’re down to the Elite Eight. First, the Kevin Duckworth Region where top-seeded Paul George is taking on Larry Sanders in the most anticipated game I’ve called since Purdue-Iowa on the Big Ten Network!!!
1. Paul George vs.
2. Larry Sanders
GUS: This one went down to the wire, as these two powerhouses of personal improvement went at it.
RAFTERY: They’re beasts of betterment!! Experts in enhancement!!
GUS: But Sanders is from VCU, and the fighting Rams always come to play in the tournament. This one goes down to the wire and OHHH!!!!!!! IT’S SANDERS WITH THE UPSET!!!!!! BIG FELLA!!! HAHAHA!!!!!
RAFTERY: Pace yourself, Gus.
BARROS REGION
1. Jrue Holiday vs.
2. Chandler Parsons
GUS: Parsons has been impressive in this tournament so far, but Holiday shakes and bakes his way into the Final Four!!!
RAFTERY: The BLOWBY!! Leave a little lingerie on the deck, Gus! OOH!!
GUS: What?
MURESAN REGION
5. LeBron James vs.
2. Greivis Vasquez
GUS: LeBron has made a once-in-a-lifetime run in this bracket. It almost reminds me of when Michael Jordan made the run in the 1991 Most Improved Player Tournament despite being the greatest player in the world. But Greivis is so improved, he makes All-Natural 7-Up look like regular 7-Up. This one is a tight battle all the way to the finish. How can anyone’s attention possibly be diverted right now?
CHARLES BARKLEY: Hey hot dog guy!
GUS: Charles, where did you come from? Anyway, here’s Greivis, he rises and fires for the win!!!!!! OHHHHH!!!
RAFTERY: ONIONS!!!!!!!!
BARKLEY: ONIONS!!!! Can I get some onions on that? And some cheese…
SEIKALY REGION
1. Nikola Vucevic vs.
2. Kemba Walker
GUS: Down to the wire again here. Walker down one with a second to go. He goes to his patented step baaaaaack…VUCEVIC BLOCKS IT!!!! OHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (inaudible) YOUNG FELLA!!!!!!!! HAHAHAA!!! FINAL FOUR (Explosion)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Final Four is set, and Gus, Bill and Charles will be back with more madness next week (if we can find Gus in the wake of the explosion).
For now, it’s on to the rankings.
I will be rooting for the Boston Celtics against the Miami Heat tonight.
Having been a Philadelphia 76ers fan for nearly four decades, that’s a pretty big deal. Usually there are only three circumstances that can get me to throw my allegiance behind a team I have despised for as long as I’ve watched the NBA.
1. By winning, the Celtics would beat a team whose loss would help the 76ers.
2. By winning, the Celtics would get a tougher playoff opponent.
3. By winning, the Celtics would prevent a zombie apocalypse.
Less than three weeks ago, the Los Angeles Lakers were mourning the death of owner Jerry Buss, refuting rumors that Dwight Howard would be traded and staring down the draft lottery.
With his team mired in ninth place in the Western Conference, Kobe Bryant defiantly told Sports Illustrated, “It’s not a question of if we make the playoffs. We will. And when we get there, I have no fear of anyone – Oklahoma City, San Antonio, Denver … whoever. I have zero nervousness about that.”
