Give me the beat, Obie! Time to channel Eminem.

Guess who’s back.

Back again.

Dayton’s back. Tell a friend.

Guess who’s back … guess who’s back … guess who’s back …

I’ve created a monster. ‘Cause nobody wants to see MVP’s no more, they want the Most Improved Player Rankings.

Well if you want most improved, this is what I’ll give ya. A little bit of me mixed with some hard Snickers. (They’re stale. But I need the sugar rush).

These rankings will jump-start your heart quicker than a shock when you found out Markieff Morris was the Player of the Week. Amazing! Or when you’re quoting decade-old Eminem songs in this column space–hey!

You’ve waited this long, now stop debating. Is it Morris, Bledsoe, or Turner maybe? Who’s the most improved in the league? We know one thing – it sure ain’t Jeff Teague!

****

OK, I’ll stop.

The Most Improved Rankings are back, and as Eminem’s daughter might have said 10 years ago, “I think they’ve gone craaaazy.”

If you thought last season was nuts, this season has been downright certifiable, and we’re only through seven games.

It’s mostly because of the Phoenix Suns.

Coming into the season, nobody thought the Suns were going to make much noise in the Western Conference. In fact, most basketball experts picked Phoenix to finish with more ping-pong balls than wins. They were one of many teams thought to be Riggin’ for Wiggins, or Parker, or a Harrison twin.

Instead, the Suns are 5-2 and own wins over supposed playoff hopefuls New Orleans, Portland and Denver. How have they done it? Improvement, of course!

Forward Markieff Morris has undermined my entire understanding of genetics by transforming into an MVP candidate in the first eight games.

I thought he and his twin brother Marcus were supposed to be the same person. I didn’t realize twins could have different ability levels, or that they could even say different things.

Point guard Eric Bledsoe was a hot commodity last offseason, and the Suns won the sweepstakes for him by shipping Jared Dudley to the LA Clippers as part of a three-team deal. But not even his closest homie would have predicted that Bledsoe would average 21 and 7 while leading the Suns to a 5-2 start.

And Miles Plumlee? That dude was as useless as a boating license in Indiana, but he has averaged 12 and 10 for the Suns early on.

There are some players outside of Phoenix players who have made big jumps as well. Anthony Davis has been historically good in New Orleans, and Lance Stephenson is making everyone forget that Paul George made everyone forget about Danny Granger in Indiana.

But as Eminem himself would say, it’s all about the Suns, son.

Peace out.

On to the rankings.

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